True Story



Mario’s words of wisdom



I’ll take some Harry…



The Noz has a kid?!?






Made me laugh



I’m The Dude



The only poster we have in the Noz office






You will never be this cool







jack daniels if you please

jack daniels if you please




Yeah just like that

Yeah just like that







H E A V E N !



Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with ‘Kate’

Kate: Hi, how can I help you today?
you: hi Kate how are you?
Kate: I’m great!  How are you today?
you: I’m good, are you a real person or just an automated responder?
Kate: I’m a real person.  We don’t use automated responders on our chat service.
you: well thats good to know!
you: can you check inventories?
Kate: Sure!  Do you have the ISBN numbers of the books you are interested in?
you: The Necronomicon is the first one i’m looking for, the other is by Shinta Cho.. can’t think of title
Kate: I can definitely check on these for you.  Just a moment while I search.
you: get those robot brains searching!
you: so are you are book person?
Kate: Yep! My library has definitely grown since I started working here.
you: oh wow, i bet your memory is at least 50 Megabytes!
Kate: Well, my bookcase is definitely full!  I was also able to find a few things for you for the books you are interested in. Here are the links the what I found: Kate:
Tyler Durden: holy cow! that’s some scary stuff!!
Tyler Durden: have you read The story of Farts? I hear it’s a classic for kids and retirees
Kate: I haven’t heard of that one!  But I could see that that would be popular with children and retirees.
Tyler Durden: What’s the deal with the Necronomicon, why do the reviews say it’s so evil?
Tyler Durden: Come on Kate! i know you’ve read Everybody Poops!
Kate: Good question!  I’m afraid I’ve never read it.
Kate: Ha, I’ve heard of it, but I haven’t read that one either.  I think a friend of mine bought it for her daughter though.
Tyler Durden: Yeah when i was 12 my dad said “look.. this book will explain and teach you why you shouldn’t poop in your moms sock drawer”
Kate: Sounds like excellent words of wisdom!
Tyler Durden: yeah.. i’ll still sneak in and drop a deuce in his sock drawer.. of course I blame it on my imaginary friend “Noz”
Tyler Durden: Have you read any of Chika Onyeani books?
Kate: I don’t think so.  Are they any good?
Tyler Durden: Capitalist Nigger is pretty good.. i got beat up though when i brought it to school
Kate: That’s too bad!  Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Tyler Durden: finally I need something on an old Cleveland Stream Train called the Cleveland Steamer
Kate: I think the best way to find it would be to use the search function on our website.
Tyler Durden: I tried but it kept sending me over to vote for The Lemon Party of America?
Kate: That’s strange!  You might want to try searching again later.
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

Really? I mean really!


I’m just here for the demo

Late night grocery heist about to go down!


Ryan Dunn RIP Brother

A great quote

“When I was a kid I wanted to be just like you. And from the looks of my man boobs I guess I got my wish.”

Cyanide and Happiness totally made my day

Finally Blade is useful!

I don’t get? Comment your ideas


Didn’t Kazakstan ban Borat? maybe it was Allen from the Hangover?

This is just another day for “Sheikh” in Kazakhstan. I can only imagine that everyday “Sheikh” walks to his extremely shitty job 2o miles away, where he makes like 2 US dollars a day and just thinks about how much he hates the fucking guy who drove the Kazakhstan Navy’s Flagship Destroyer ship about 40 miles inland and ruins his lovely view of the countryside.  Sorry “Sheikh” but this Boats and Hoes story leaves you up a fucking creek with no Hoes to brag about.  Guess you’d better head north to the golden lands of Uranium and Vodka.


Today literally started in the shitter


So today literally started in the shitter for me, how does a clever Noz like me manage to drop the toilet paper device right into the hole of doom?












Life and Death of Sam Cro

I realized that in my downward spiral of hopelessness, I was actually falling into the huge hole created by my absence of basic human graces. The most obvious was forgiveness. If I was wronged, by anyone, in or out of the club, I had to be compensated — money or blood. There was no turning the other cheek. When relationships become a ledger of profit and loss, you have no friends, no loved ones — just pluses and minuses. You are absolutely alone. – JT – SOA


What the Noz? Ke$ha’s #1 fan

I knew there was a good reason not to play World of Warcraft…

well if you take out the obvious reasons of being a douche bag fan boy cock mongering badger fart monkey..

If anyone cares what really goes on it NJ..

Dumbass girl robs the store of expiring baby pisser test and gets busted in the men’s room… sorry no matter how i word it, it’s stupid. I really hope this chick isn’t reproducing, I have sketchy feeling a Jersey Shore cast member talked her into it.

Borat in custody, Number 3 Car mover in Kazakhstan wanted

A CAR sits wedged in the back of a van – because the owners were too tight to pay for a trailer.

 Pals Konstanty Krol, 38, and Cezar Chmielewski, 28, bought a silver Mazda 626 to take 2,200 miles home to Kazakhstan.

 Car-azy ... vehicle pokes out the back of van

Car-azy … vehicle pokes out the back of van

 The silly truckers then decided to cut costs by carrying it in their van – on its SIDE.

 Police saw the van with its load protruding, lurching from side to side in Bargteheide, Germany. They confiscated the van and car until the pals return with a transporter.

Who’s picking up my Dong?

Well it finally happened, you can buy a bottle of Dong at the grocery store, I’m sure Justin Bieber will become the spokesman and this shit will sell faster than Hangover 2015 tickets.. DTA.


Crossbows & Mustaches


another brief gem from the bros over at Workaholics

The Noz is feeling it today


Anyone else have a case of fuckin mondays?

United States of the Obese


The 12-inch burger is wrapped like a sandwich, and sticks out of most of the to-go bags offered up at the location, so it was definitely an interesting sight. I’m not sure how well the burger will fair, it’s basically just a few patties and ingredients mimicking a sub sandwich, which may end up not helping its overall appeal. The dough on the bread seems a little off, but the execution of the entire sandwich still remains interesting and I’m intrigued to say the least. As for the patty, it actually consists of smaller individual patties, instead of one larger piece (which may have earned it some more “craziness points“). Maybe they will make some modifications if they decide to roll this burger out nationally. Until then, what do you guys think of the pictures, or if you’ve tried it yourself, please share your thoughts with us!

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End of Ze World

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Error Jordan?

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